Author Mary Cronk Farrell

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Are You Connected?

4/10/2011

4 Comments

 
        To write from the heart, one must feel a connection to the whole of life. Yet the writing life itself offers so many enticements toward separateness and disconnection. When six weeks have passed with no word from my agent about my most recent manuscript, acceptance of the whole of life is difficult. When months have passed, it can become almost impossible.

      To continue working, writing the next story, a way must be found to accept disappointment and rejection.  Not simply to resign oneself to it, but to embrace it as a given part of the process, no less important than its opposite. For me, the first step is recognition that I am running away as fast as I can from these painful feelings. I need something to stop me in my tracks and make me pay attention.  Often it’s OHM.      

        OHM is the most often chanted sound of all sacred chants on earth. It is the sound of connectedness with all of life. I’ve noticed sometimes when I begin meditation I feel a resistance to chanting the OHM.  I feel a draw to maintaining my separateness.
        Tara Brach explains this tendency to separateness by telling a funny story.       
       My first inclination is to judge this tendency toward separateness as petty and self-absorbed.
          Looking more closely, I can find compassion for myself . This pulling away is a natural human reaction to pain, and has been an important part of the evolution of humankind. In past generations, it was necessary to flee from pain in order to survive. In the present, survival depends upon connection. Turning away from the perception of separation to write from the heart is my small contribution.
4 Comments
Andrea Fooner
4/10/2011 07:52:06 am

Hi, Mary,
Thanks for the chance to get to know your website (beautiful,) your blog and thoughts/feelings. On dealing with rejection, I fastened on your understanding it as part of the whole, part of the process. I decided I'd put my rejection letters on the fridge, as a badge of honor (I'm doing my work, stretching and learning) instead of A negative judgement on my abilities, which cuts close to the nerve. But it doesn't anesthetizE you. MEDITATING AND CHANTING OHM (OH HEAR ME) might be a way to remove oneself from pain, and more easily flow back to imagination and writing.
I'm doing a Torah study group and taking a short course that has focused me on Dinah and Shechem. That got me into writing a midrash for Dina, who never speaks (she is subjected to the unspeakable?) It will be a gift to my teacher.
Good luck with the interview coming up.
Best, Andrea

Reply
Mary link
4/10/2011 08:23:56 am

Andrea,

Thanks for sharing. I'd love to read your midrash on Dina. She's one of my favorite characters in the Torah. And one of many woman in the Holy Books who don't have a voice.

Congrats on your rejections. You have to finish something and send it out to get rejections!

Reply
cheryl
4/10/2011 11:06:04 am

Hi Mary,
I love your blog and how it resonated with me. I've listened to Tara faithfully for a few yrs. and find her wisdom refreshing, yet challenging to put into practice. It's amazing how hard old habits dis,esp. those of self-condemnation. Self-compassion is a new concept and practice for me, but one that I want to embrace. Thank-you for the reminder of it
s importance in one's life. Your honesty is a breath of fresh air.

Reply
Patty Driscoll
4/10/2011 11:56:35 pm

Now that was hysterical - and were you reading my mind about what I needed - and I didn't even know. Love you.

Reply



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    I'm an award-winning author of Children's/YA books and former journalist with a passion for stories about people facing adversity with courage.

    My books have been named Notable Social Studies Book for Young People, SPUR Award for Best Juvenile Fiction about the American West, Bank Street College List of Best Children's Books, and NY Public Library Best Books for Teens. My journalistic work has received numerous awards for excellence from the Society of Professional Journalists and two Emmy nominations.
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