Author Mary Cronk Farrell

  • News!
  • blog
  • About me
  • What people are saying...
    • PURE GRIT
  • My Books
  • School Visits
  • videos
  • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
  • Calendar

What Would You Do...If You Weren't Afraid?

12/26/2013

12 Comments

 
As the new year begins I settle on a slogan to help me form a positive habit over the next twelve months. For 2014 my slogan is a question. What would you do, Mary, if you weren't afraid?

I know this isn't an original thought. Do something everyday that scares you, is a similar quote I hear a lot attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt. But often with common sayings we don’t pause to consider the meaning.

If I've stopped to think about these sentiments at all, I've discarded them out of hand. I’m not scared of anything. Okay, I am scared of snakes, but I can live with that, and I see no reason to delve into it or sign up for a snake handling class. My life is fine, thank you. I don’t need to sky dive or swim with sharks.

But what hit me this week is that the things we are most afraid of are not exotic feats of nerve. They are things very close to us. Things we encounter without straying from our daily routine.

What would you do today, Mary, if you weren't afraid?



It took less than three seconds for me to realize the thing I’m most afraid of right now is resuming work on my novel. I legitimately put it aside to work on a manuscript already under contract, which will be finished soon. Very soon there will be no reason not to open that novel document and begin revising.

Why is that scary? You might ask, isn't that what you do every day, Mary? Write stories?

It’s scary because it matters so much. There in lies the clue to discovering what scares you the most.  I guarantee, if you’re honest, it’s those few things that matter most to us that generate our fears.

The scariest things of all are love and creativity. Unconditional love strips us naked. Funny thing, it’s scary whether you’re giving it or receiving it.

Love never stands still. By nature, love grows. Growth is change and love insists we grow along with it. What true thing would you say to your loved one if you weren't afraid of hurt feelings?  How would you interact with your children if you had no fear for the future?

Out of love for yourself, what would you stop putting off, if you weren’t afraid?

Like love, creativity urges us to change, to shake up the status quo. If we don’t think about it we realize our natural inclination is to try to keep things as they are, to hold on for fear of losing what we have. This effort toward stagnation strangles love and creativity.

It’s amazing what we will do to stop creativity from blooming, to stop love from flourishing. Sometimes all it takes is turning on the TV or checking Facebook, but sometimes we go to elaborate lengths to thwart intimacy. For creativity is nothing if not intimacy with our very selves. The key to intimacy is vulnerability. Getting back to that being stripped naked—that’s what I’m afraid of. That’s what must happen if I’m to finish my novel.

Is it love or creativity that scares you most? What would you do today, if you weren't afraid? Come on...tell me I'm not alone in this. 


12 Comments
Sydney Avey link
12/26/2013 10:03:22 pm

Good question, Mary. I will need to ruminate on this a bit before I have an answer. I did so many scary things last year that involved turning my life upside down to commit to my new writing career. Being vulnerable with people about my writing was top on the list. Thinking of that vulnerability in terms of love and intimacy casts it in a different light.

Love you newsletter.

Sydney

Reply
Mary link
12/27/2013 01:54:30 am

Thank you, Sydney, for your kind words. I'm thinking your courage in committing to your writing career has been richly rewarded.
THE SHEEP WALKER'S DAUGHTER is nearing the top of my To-be-read stack, and I am very much looking forward to it. Cheers to you in 2014!

Reply
Laurie Ann Thompson link
12/30/2013 10:02:24 am

Great post, Mary! One of the (many) reasons I have so far avoided writing a novel is that very vulnerability and feeling of being exposed. As I prepare for my first nonfiction book to be released next fall, I'm becoming acutely aware of the fear that comes with putting ANYTHING out there for the world to see. Overcoming those emotions will be one of my biggest themes for 2014 as well. Here's to us both!! =D

Reply
Mary
1/1/2014 04:32:40 am

Laurie,
Thanks for sharing. I find just getting that fear out there and looking at it really goes a long way to moving through it. Congrats on your book! You've been writing about people who've found the courage to spark important change in our world, right? let's keep talking about this...

Reply
Laurie Thompson link
1/1/2014 08:52:16 am

Yes, starting it in the face is the only way. Thanks! Yes, the amazing teens I interviewed for the book are what kept me going when it got hard, and what I go back to whenever I start to panic. It's about telling their stories and inspiring more like them. I'm just a cog in a much larger machine. :) Acknowledging our fears, and facing them together, is always a discussion worth having. Thanks again for putting it out there.

Meghan Nuttall Sayres link
12/30/2013 02:24:54 pm

Mary, I just came across a quote from Rumi that pertains to your latest post on love, creativity and fear...

"Why suffer at the hand of things that don't exist. Come to the root of the root of yourself that was kneaded with the clay of certainty."

Reply
Mary
1/1/2014 04:35:05 am

Meghan,
LOVE that Rumi quote. Gives me the shivers. Thanks so much!

Reply
Trudi Trueit link
12/31/2013 12:50:17 am

Acting. I would definitely try acting. Thanks for the inspiration to give it a go, Mary! I would also resolve not to be afraid of writing from the deepest places of my heart, no matter how difficult or painful (working on something now that is putting that resolution to the test).

Reply
Mary
1/1/2014 04:42:36 am

Trudi, thank you! Inspires me to hear you are putting your fear to the test. Writing from deep painful places is so...well...painful. :) Wishing you the best as you persevere. I'm right there, too.

Reply
Laurie Thompson link
1/1/2014 08:54:33 am

Good luck, Trudi! I've heard from several successful authors that acting really helped them improve their writing. One of these days, maybe I'll get up the courage to try improv. ;)

Reply
Trudi Trueit link
1/2/2014 12:39:17 am

Thanks, Mary and Laurie! I know my acting chops are in their somewhere. As a kid, the reason I wrote plays was so I could act in them. Acting helped me overcome my shyness, but in junior high, I got self conscious and didn't join drama club. Laurie, I think you would be awesome at improv!!

Mary
1/3/2014 03:34:56 am

My kids were involved in improv, which was very fun to watch. I've heard the really great training is that you respond to everything with..."Yes! And...." which is great training for writing and pretty much all of life. I would like to try improv sometime.




Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Picture
    I'm an award-winning author of Children's/YA books and former journalist with a passion for stories about people facing adversity with courage.

    My books have been named Notable Social Studies Book for Young People, SPUR Award for Best Juvenile Fiction about the American West, Bank Street College List of Best Children's Books, and NY Public Library Best Books for Teens. My journalistic work has received numerous awards for excellence from the Society of Professional Journalists and two Emmy nominations.
    Picture

    Archives

    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    December 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    March 2013
    January 2013
    November 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010

    Categories

    All
    Books
    Coffee
    Courage
    Day To Day
    Dealing With Demons
    Eat Drink & Be Mary
    Food
    Gardening
    Getkidzlit
    Historical Fiction
    Historical Fiction
    History
    History & Literature
    History & Literature
    Literature


✕